Tam Tries To Read 50 Shades of Grey

Oh my, some of this stuff is HOT. But is it for me? Holy shit… could I do this? I need space. I need to think.

Thinking is not your thing.

END OF CHAPTER 11

Mr. Grey What would you suggest I put into a search engine?

This might help:  link

Or better still:  link

Christian Grey just sent me a winking smiley… Oh my. I fire up Google.

Great, now she’s gonna break Google.

Sure enough, there’s a message from Christian sitting in the inbox. I’m practically bouncing out of my seat with glee.

Oh!!!  I bet he knows all about the little coffee date with Jose!!!  Because he’s a high level stalker.

Not digging the way Ana is leading Jose on.  

As we stroll to the local coffee shop, I slip my arm through José’s. I’m so grateful for his – normality. Someone I know and understand.

Just hanging out with my best friend/almost date rapist.  Normal shit.

José phones at eleven. “Hey, are we doing coffee?”

(From his reply email) I note from your tone that you have read the documentation I gave you. Do you have any questions so far? Christian Grey CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings Inc. (Ana) I can’t help but grin.

Oh lord, he’s already emailed her.  

And she’s all

After all, I’ve been using Kate’s for four years.

I feel so sorry for that machine.

It’s probably got nuclear computer herpes.

That new Mac is really in for it, man. 

He looks longingly at it. “Me account?” “Your new e-mail address.” I have an e-mail address? He points to an icon on the screen and continues to talk at me but it’s like white noise. I haven’t got a clue what he’s saying, and in all honestly, I’m not interested. Just tell me how to switch it on and off – I’ll figure out the rest.

Just show me how to turn it on and off

“It’s got the latest OS and a full suite of programs, plus a one-point-five terabyte hard drive so you’ll have plenty of room, thirty-two gigs of RAM – what are you planning to use it for? “Uh… e-mail.”

You could wrap a brick in tin foil and this bitch would be impressed.

The Mac laptop is sleek and silver and rather beautiful. It has a very large screen. Christian Grey likes scale – I think of his living area, in fact, his whole apartment.

“These aren’t available in the shops yet, ma’am; the very latest from Apple.” How come that does not surprise me? I sigh heavily.

Oh poor you!!!!  WHO GETS BUTTHURT OVER A BRAND NEW GADGET??!?  Well Miss Oh-I’m-just-too-hipster-for-this, on behalf of my 2 year old Dell and myself…..

Must end here and go pretend to be a responsible parent.

“Okay, what is it?” “It’s a MacBook Pro.” “Of course it is.” I roll my eyes.